The More You Control, the Less You Receive
Stop forcing your vision.
I’ve caught myself mistaking control for care more times than I’d like to admit.
It’s that urge to fix others. To shape them to my version of perfection. To pressure them to see what I see. Believe what I believe. Do what I think will save them.
It shows up when we push people toward what we think is right, when we try to fix things they never asked us to fix.
It can feel loving, even responsible. But underneath, there’s often the fear that if we don’t hold it all together, everything will fall apart. However, this type of “responsible control” cost me some meaningful relationships.
The Lumer Council has something to say about that. They warn us about control and the ways we chase it, the false comfort it gives, and the chaos it creates.
Our need to be in control blocks the abundance we say we’re creating.
🌊 Lumer Council Message
I hope you realize that if you do manage to convince everybody in your influence to believe exactly as you, your ego will say that is not enough.
You will then find more differences. You will find new enemies, just so that you can feel superior and more knowledgeable than other people.
That is not the purpose of living. In fact, that is very uncomfortable, That’s always struggling. Is that what you really want?
Let’s get real here. What we really want is to find those common connections so that we can build a world with less conflict. Where, yeah, you can be abundant in many ways, in money, in love, in life.
But if you keep with these man-made divisions that have nothing to do with Universal or natural laws, then you will just continually be in conflict.
And some of you thrive on that, or you think you thrive on that, but really you’re just addicted to it.
Stand back. Take a look. No matter how much money you have, no matter how much power you perceive you have, are you really happy with your life?
Are you really happy living with those in your immediate circles and influence? Do you even trust the people in your circle and influence, deep down?
It’s time to ask these hard questions if you truly want the world that you have been dreaming of. Take a hard look at that dream. Is it one that actually serves your best interest, or one that serves your ego?
And yes, I’m not talking about the interests of others. I’m talking about your best interest. Because if you’re not being honest with yourself about what’s best for you, you’ll never be able to find what’s best for others.
We have decided to become even more blunt.
Those who have already been listening, keep spreading the light of love.
And yes, we do say this in love. Have we even said once that you are wrong? No. You’re just living your life, living your truth as you see it. Now we just want to show you a better way for you.
This is not one of those speeches where we’re going to say, Go out and love everybody. That’ll never work until you love you.
🌀 Taking it In
The Lumer Council isn’t scolding us. They’re holding up a mirror.
It’s easy to think we’re “spreading light” when we’re really just defending our own version of truth. That subtle ego trap can hide under noble language and good intentions.
I also think about the small moments of giving unsolicited criticism, trying to win an argument with a loved one, or forcing a plan to work because I’m scared it won’t. Those are the same control patterns, just easier to excuse in daily life.
The bluntness here matters. It’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about how often we choose conflict without realizing it.
Some of us have been trained to thrive on division, to find purpose in having something, or someone, to resist. But real peace doesn’t come from winning arguments. It comes from finding steadiness within.
That’s what they mean when they say, you love you.
If we’re not at peace with ourselves, we’ll keep recreating conflict no matter how spiritual, political, or well-intentioned we claim to be. The world reflects our inner state.
If you want the world of your dreams, then begin creating that world from within.
🔄 Simple Shift
Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a small circle in the center. Write the word, ME, inside it.
Around that, draw a few larger circles and label them with people or groups you’ve felt the urge to convince, fix, or “enlig
hten.”
Now, with slow, steady strokes, erase or smudge the outer circles until only your center remains. Sit with that space. Notice how calm it feels when there’s nothing to manage outside your own circle.
Finally, draw lines, color, or light radiating outward from the word, me.
That’s what real influence looks like. It’s not control, but presence
If you’re ready to move from forcing to flowing, The Map to Success offers a grounded way to measure progress toward abundant living.
💬Join the Conversation
Where in your life do you notice the pull to “be right”? How might that change if you focused on being real instead?
Share your reflections in the comments. I always love reading how these messages land with you.
Peace and abundance begin the moment we release what was never ours to control.
In Love and Light,
Merdhin
What a great connection to science! The Universal laws are literally everywhere. I also whole-heartedly agree with you that we are meant to be joyful and connected.
This reminds me of Newton's Third Law of Motion - For every action of force, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For example, when you push on a wall, the wall pushes back on you with an equal and opposite force. The more we try to force, the more pushback we get. Concept of force and resistence also comes to mind for me. I had a brief experience of wanting to strongly encourage colleagues to see things my way regarding a current topic. I realized the futility of this. I realized that sharing my perspectives to foster discussion has much more positive results. I realized I did not care anymore whether I convinced my colleagues or not - and then I felt much better. I trying to embrace each day with love for self and caring for self - not the ego-centric kind - and the importance of keeping communion with my fellow humans and my friends. We are all connected and there can be joy in sharing ourselves with no judgement or forcing our beliefs on others. We are meant to be joyful and connected to our fellow humans.